3 CENTS
"Man, he is constantly growing and when he is bound by a set pattern of ideas or way of doing things, that's when he stops growing."-Bruce Lee
Apply it to anything you want, I liked when I read it. I don't really have much to say today, when you're at home doing the same things each day there isn't much to inspire you. But I'm sure that when school starts up there will be plenty to say.
I miss seeing friends. The same routine everyday, waking up at the same time each day. Eating the same things at the same time each day. Looking at the same websites each day. Attempting to do schoolwork each day. Bored out of mind each day.
I've come to a realisation, you see, school will be no different (minus the friends bit), and is a reminder of what is to come. Just some food for thought. I know what the forthcoming year will be like, and I'm not looking forward to it. I've not too much to say.
DAY
Nothing much is happening, just same old same old. I'm trying to go to bed earlier but I keep on failing to, now I've called my mother in to intervene. She says that she will "kick my butt". Perhaps 3-4am is too late? I'm starting to tire of waking up when the sun starts dropping; yesterday I woke up at 4:30pm.
I keep thinking about school and my music, what I should be doing and the obstacles I will face, it's always in the back of my mind, although I should give my mother some 'credit' in that department, she reminds me everyday of her expectations for my HSC.
KLOSE
Ever wondered what it's like to live in a eurasian family or being half? My parents come from vastly different backgrounds, practically opposite sides of the world, so you can expect that they have differing values, customs, and expectations. There is inevitably conflict. For example, my father will sometimes wear shoes into the house if it's just for 5 minutes (it's a white person thing), but my mother will force him to take his shoes off. It may seem like a minor thing that occurs elsewhere, but believe me, it's a cultural thing in this instance.
There are many times where I feel alienated. I remember at Schofields Public School there were times where some caucasians wouldn't accept me. I wasn't 'white' enough.
Even now, days at school can be tough when my close friends aren't around. I'm not trying to be racist, but I can't and will never be indian or chinese. I've had "But you're not asian". I just don't fit in, I don't want to either. So that leaves me with little place to go. And I don't feel white, I don't really want to be there too. Now I have a dilemma, but I couldn't care less.
Why?
Because I know I've found great friends that only care if you're a good person. I am so grateful for having found such good friends, and I mean that with every part of my mind, body, and soul. So now I'm going to be highly brash. Fuck cliques. Fuck racial groups. I'm sorry for being so upfront about how I express my sentiments. That's one aspect of our school that I truly hate. And I know that's because of my past experiences, I understand, and I choose to bypass logic. So now I'm going to unleash some Module C. The pathos is powerful.
Well, now you know some more. I choose not to visually display these emotions, this blogging experience has given me a better outlet; words are better.
I don't think I'll post again until I have another outing with some friends to stir the blood.
4 comments:
See, thats one of my problems with Holidays. They leave you nowhere at the end of them. I'd feel much better if they were dispersed throughout the year, rather than this long, harrowing experience that revolves around social estrangement, cause nobody can leave their house. *sigh* its the holidays and we are meantah have more time to see each other. Ironic how we see less of each other, cause the thing that we all unite in hating, is the only reason we see each other so often. my 3 cents on that subject anyways =P
Dude, i pretty much agree with everything you say, unless its about yourself. Then i just sit and listen. On the subject of cliques, i think as a year group we are luckier, in that the cliques that are there hold less strength. People have enough free will to be able to accomodate themselves in many groups. And if you think about it, our group is pretty much a group of people that belong everywhere and nowhere. We are a bunch of misfits and damn proud.
yeah, i agree with Dani. our year group isn't that bad, especially compared to what i've heard about other schools.
ahhhh not looking forward to english this year :\
yeah, we are a group of remaining obscure jigsaw puzzle pieces. and steph i agree with you, hence why i hold no hope for other grades once we finish up.
haha yeah. like the grade below us with those 4 crazy koreans >_>
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