How the hell can life change so much in 3 months? So many life lessons learned. My eyes have opened up to the world too. I won't get all existential or anything but my perception of people, humans, has changed. Look out for yourself. You are number one, the first priority. Don't forget that.
The world is a very big place. I'd only ever known certain circles of people but going overseas opens up your eyes. Sorry to say it, but

I didn't miss anyone a single bit.

I had no idea why. None what so ever. And that is somewhat scary. But it made me think about life and the future...

Mum is heckling me to shower now so that is all I have for now ==

Been back from Thailand a day so far-all I can say is that trip opened my eyes up to the world and the opportunities in it. Couldn't of been happier on the trip...but coming back, the formal was a slight let down for me because it felt so short and anti-climactic because I'd just returned. Matt's afters was good fun, keeping an eye on Erica and Jarrod is sorta fun because I can talk to them like infants and they listen.

No idea what I'm going to be up to in the next few months but I know that I will practice speaking Thai and learning household duties to become slightly competent in life.

Life is good.

blargh

argh cbf studying, so screwed for chem and physics T_T
my brain just can't take anymore

just studying whatever i can atm, i'm in panic mode

son, i am disappoint.

lols finish on thursday and then off to thailand :)

Coolbeans

Medibank-I feel better now!
Hahahaha I feel like listening to QUEEN-Don't stop me now!!!!!!!!

I am feeling good right about now, at 2am out of all times of the day!

POST A COMMENT ON HOW YOU ARE FEELING AT THE VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS!

from guy yehboi

logical reasoning

Dear Religion,

...haha haven't you provided me with some "fun" the past few years. You are very crafty, old friend. You know how to twist that pathos so well sometimes...I respect you greatly for your ability to influence people down the right track but sometimes I swear you got something against me. There's no such thing as a perfect friend but everyone has their flaws. Luckily you and I can both see past that though.

We have plenty of friends in common and we all get along just fine, I mean c'mon, our best mates are the same! The friends we share are part of the joys of life, no? And we get along pretty well most of the time but sometimes, just sometimes, you can be a bit of a reasonless dick.

Usually I'll see why you're being that way because i probably offended you somehow...but I haven't bothered you in anyway way shape or form!?! So why then have you been spreading rumours about me, putting crazy ideas in people's heads? Keep out of my business next time if you intend on messing with other people's lifes, it's between me and them. Sure, you are welcome to say what you want and voice your opinion, I believe that's something you should be able to do. But when you intentionally start getting in their heads to turn people against me, that is NOT cool.

You've done irreversible damage...luckily for you I forgive people. But it will take some time for me to accept you and your new close friend again.

For now it's indifference. So if you're reading this, religion, how about you have a think about how you empathise with those that aren't so close to you. Just stop being a dick...please. You've done enough. Maybe somewhere down the track we can be friends again but for now, don't expect me to be ringing you up anytime soon.

I'll tell my friends to say hi.

From Guy

on paper it seems much worse

music hsc + bad news=terrible day? you'd think so but it ain't so bad

how's it feel? a little disappointed but i started to think that was going to be the case towards the end. oh well, i can now get on with life and pursue what i should of been focused on. sometimes you lose sight of things...and then you put on your glasses and see it standing right in front of you

regrets? loss of 2 months of my life and a friendship that will take an unknown amount of time to return to normality...but it could of been much worse and in return i gained invaluable experience about how people work. lol i can now take more emotional pain...which means i'm now invincible?
in all seriousness though life lessons have been learned and i will take it all onboard for the better :D
i just wish i knew sooner...guess that's it, all i really lost was time.

hectic and disappointing two months but hey, i'm looking forwards to what really matters now :D

the solution to all this

the best action, is inaction. at least until crunch time arrives.

now to stick by it...the mind feels much clearer now.

distractions...

tried to take the advice of a friend and ignore it/grow to hate it. couldn't help myself if my life depended on it and so failed. heard something that shouldn't affect me but it did, and on second thought, most people would see it as a big deal. it is a big deal when you're involved, a shock, a slap across the face. tried to turn it into hate so i could concentrate. at the end i feel inferior.
why do i feel this way?

what the fcuk is wrong with me? arghargharghargharghargh i can't concentrate AT ALL!?!?!?!
it's 10:30 on monday night and i can't even look at my english essays T_T
why now, mind?

Life without facebook is so lonely...

ih8english
ih8english
ih8english
ih8english
ih8english

I think I made my point

Dear readers and hsc,

Shit goin' down cause my facebook is deactivated. I hate english but I will do all I can to destroy it (followed by maths and the sciences, then music). We must cast the one ring back into the fires of Mordor where it was created. What I'm trying to say is a bonfire would be nice. Any takers for a ritual sacrificing?
Phone/Email/Blog are the only ways you can remotely contact me, unless you want to come over or something :D

Look what you've done, hsc. Facebook is deactivated. You don't deserve capital letters. Go die in a hole you piece of shit. Cheers :D

Sincerely,

Guy

fml. not to do with the hsc either. fml.

T_T
stresssssssssssssss
work work work work work work

end it already T_T
T_T
T_T
T_T
there's exactly a month until i'm done....and 11 days until i start T_T

pre hsc

yeah...
haven't really done as much as i'd have liked because relatives were staying over
they're gone now, so maybe i can get some solid study in?
so bored...i bludge too much...oh well
it's not like i want to be a doctor like the rest of the school

sorry for not blogging as much as i should, it's been an extremely insanely crazily hectic month. i mean everything has been crazy. deaths, stress, breakdowns, sorrow, love life, drugs....just a general summary of the month so far

anyway-see you october 15 when we slay this motherlicker

and noooowwwww, the end is neeeaaarrrrrr...

the end of an era approaches.
it is deeply saddening
yet at the same time exciting.
but it is life.
and life is short.
keep the memories so you can look back with no regrets.
it's been a long time guys and i'm glad to have been a part of it.
so here's to girraween 2010-in my memories forever.
each and every one of you has shaped me into who i am now.
it doesn't express my gratitude enough and never will but here it is anyway:

Thankyou. Thankyou for everything.

tip of the day!

don't drive 4 hours after being under anaesthetic and under doctor's orders not to drive (y)

thankyou very much

feeling better...but it's kinda complicated-don't think i'm going to top myself or something haha. it's been an extremely intense week for me, one of the hardest weeks i can recall. it's been emotional. i won't say anymore than that though. thanks for your concerns peoples, i'll be alright either way though :D

it hurts. make it stop.

WHY THE FUCK MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT? WHY? JUST STOP SITTING ON THE FENCE. PLEASE.

the waiting game

resolution on monday i hope. i don't know if i can wait that long though. im going to have a couple of sleepless nights

gotta make a tough decision...this will be difficult. all or nothing? is it worth it? we'll see soon enough...

fuck.

Ocho

Day 8 – A song to match your mood.

I'm not going to lie, I was looking forward to this one.



There's a sort of sadness and happiness about it that reflects how I feel about the days of school coming to an end.

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend.

I didn't go on msn much until the first quarter of this year, then I went on too much-you're pretty much the only reason I went on, unless I needed something school related (like missed homework). Things have quieted down lately but we must of talked just about everyday for quite a long time, pretty much up until I went to Europe.
It's gone a bit quiet since then. And I can probably blame our daily extremely late conversations for our lack of sleep-running on a couple hours sleep doesn't seem so bad anymore. Hopefully we'll get together in person more often, only because this year is a bitch and has restricted any of our movements after school. It's always been a case of me coming to you though, that's how it was always going to be because I live in farmville. Any excuse to go see you in person will do.

See you real soon I hope.





N.B. lolol guys I wondered where everyone was getting the letters to someone from and then i looked again and found the whole pairing list...read the fine print guy

Siete

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

A girl made the list of blog topics right? What guy really thinks about their dream wedding at this stage (I made a spelling error and wrote weeding and lol'd)? I'm going to answer it as quickly as possible and then talk about something I want to talk about...
Lot's of white crap and my future bride? A church or something? No idea, come back and ask me in 5-10 years.

I don't know about you other HSC kids but I'm getting some mixed emotions at the moment. What am I supposed to feel when the days of school are coming to an end? There are some pros and cons on each side; I won't go through them but I'm pretty sure you could come up with your own list. What lies in the future? Blargh so many uncertainties...

My brain is so very confused in the crush department now as well :S

Seis

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet

I did have them as a pet for a day. I just wish they didn't crap so frequently, make so much noise, were so high maintenance, and stayed that size. I miss those little bastards. They're now living at a family friend's relatives farm with a pond. Leaving was so difficult. Never again...Be strong my little ones.

Cinco

Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.

Gah. I don't know if I have any on the net, maybe the family photo albums are the way to go...
Alright, I'm bending the rules a little bit here, this is from 1 and 3/4 years ago on our family trip to Japan/Thailand. No prizes for guessing which country this was in.





On another note, I just want the bloody HSC to finish so some parity can be restored. Just a little longer and then BAM-finished. I'll also try and make the last days of Girraween as fun as possible when I can be bothered turning up.

Cuatro

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of one of your best friends.
Now I have to dig around facebook for a good photo of someone...

I know you probably wont end up ever seeing this here, but here it is. Sums up the silly Tabish that not that many people get to see. To be honest I just picked one of the first facebook photos I could find but it still is a nice picture. I should really bring the camera to school one day. Kinda soon. Like before the 24th of September.

Tres

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Just for nothing to go wrong. I don't know about the ideal date but the cinemas are a good place for things to happen ;)
Have to escort her as close to home as possible and pay for everything. And a small gift perhaps? And I must be chivalrous, just a personal thing...must be the English part of my blood coursing through my veins. Make sure I whip out the tasteful humour only...I can turn the vulgar switch on and off like THAT. Just have to make sure that there are none of my bad influences around.
There should be a second date if the first is perfect, right?

lols great topic to type about

Maybe we'll see soon enough how one may go...

Dos

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Waiting for mum to cook dinner... I'm gonna guess what she's making without looking-when i walked up to my room i saw her with a bowl holding an onion, and last night at her cooking course (because she watched masterchef she wants to be a chef now, good on ya mum!) she made hamburgers i think. so my guess is that she's making gourmet hamburgers....that's my prediction as of 16:38

TIME SKIP

it was hamburgers

ok sarah and tony...UNO

i'm getting lazy with the blogging so i'll join you with the list thing. starting now. which leaves me with 50 minutes as i type this.

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
my Dad overslept this morning so i thought he had his day off...leaving me to wonder why no-one was getting ready? just made my train in time and on the train, for the second time in the past few months, i'm pretty sure i saw my first girlfriend from when i was in year 3. we just kinda traded looks when the other wasn't looking. i can't be certain it was her because i haven't seen her since then when we parted ways because i had to move schools. awkward...she got off at blacktown so maybe she's working or has TAFE. no idea.
got to school and went to the VA rooms to check out how everyone was going. great to say the least. saw some gifu kids at assembly. everyone was away for some reason /jigging?/
spent free first period trying to fill in an application form with tubbs and then jess came, followed by sarah and others ( i can't remember, sorry).
chemistry-meh, signed off on marks. better than last year. can't complain. ms. harman explained what happened in the birmingham city bolton match with a slapping incident to the whole class.
english-terrible...i knew it was coming though. no time to prepare, it was gonna be bad. worth sacrificing english for physics? probably, in my eyes. otherwise all that tuition money goes to waste.
music-spent the whole time trying to fill in a godforsaken form, with jess being herself and trying to stop me...which reminds me, i have to do it now....timing my pieces and shiet

lunch was good, VA pieces were AMAZING. you guys are talented, goodstuff! i wanted to do VA in year 9 and 10, then you guys made me regret not doing it this year...seeing steph's work come from the ground up was cool. i spent all of lunch in there

physics-bad....i knew what was coming though, i was sick and stuff and generally dying. hopefully they'll base it on my other results because i really had a terrible day, probably just a terrible end of that week now that i think about it

blargh blargh maths iPod listening to music
******************************************************************************************
end school
sanitary napkin on the bus....trying to tell the jap guy something...cantonese word for duck is male prostitute as well apparently
trip home on the train
walked home with headphones on...

:( :( :( :( :( :(

got home with my head down looking at the ground and noticed someone elses sandals, looked up and it was the neighbour....my mum arranged for the ducks to be taken to their new home with a pond and everything on a farm. i was pretty sad inside...hopefully they'll have a goodlife. i let them swim around in the sink and bathtub and filmed them for about 10 minutes.

today realised that if someone dies i'm going to be in a right old mess.
i miss the ducklings already

ate dinner early

computer trying to type up this gay bluescope steel form. nearly there...if it wasn't for this blog.

lol at how i progressively got lazier with typing and grammar

i just keep drawing
another short straw
again
again
why bother

Cyclones and typhoons

I'm at my desk listening to the music of Nujabes. I have no idea what it is about his music but it puts me in an almost trance like state of calm, on a different planet. I start to question existence; life and death. This isn't an emo blog, but right now I'm somewhere else. This music is like a drug. If I die tomorrow I want his music played at my funeral, it's almost...I'm not sure...this pile of noise transcends sound. I always wished for something that evokes emotions and feelings so I could react to it, I find it hard to obtain or create emotional stimuli; it must of been the constant insults and Guy-centered jokes over the years that have desensitized me.

The effect is indescribable.

Don't forget to take a step back and see what's important in life, you only exist on this Earth once so hold your every joy in reverence. If there's is something you've always wanted to do, then do it. Stick your neck out and take a chance. You'll see what I mean.

Goodbye everyone. See you all in a fortnight.

Indecisions, visions, and revisions

Argh it was screwing with my head the past few days and being jet lagged doesn't quite either, all my motivation was stripped away for a few days. If you're wondering what I'm on about, it's a choice, not one that doesn't have to be made right away but soon. And it's pretty major for me.

I can take the road everyone else will take and go to study engineering or something at UNSW or USYD. Or I can fly to the otherside of the world to study jazz piano at the state of the art Hochschule für Musik Franz Liszt in Weimar, Germany. I just got to pick one or the other.

Why study all the way over there you may ask? I would be under the direct tuition of one of the best jazz pianists in the world who is unfortunately, criminally unknown. He really is a freak. Sorry it's out of sync. Watch here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ6ueTo4FA4&feature=related

His name is Leonid Chizhik and he severely underrated. He is seriously one of the best in the world, not just me sucking up. Now if you've watched that video you probably think "meh he's pretty good I guess". Now add the fact that he's making it all up pretty much. The only constant things are the chord changes. I don't know if you guys are able to be as amazed as I am but this but keeping the left hand moving and keeping in time and with chord changes and improvising with it AND improvising with the right hand. It's like looking left and right at the same time, and then some.
So I would get to study with him. Another advantage is that it's free. I'm not so certain about the way the system works but it's something like, if you're good enough to make it in then the German government sponsors you so I would only have to pay living costs i.e. a few hundred euro a month. It's also in the cultural town of Weimar, it's a fairly well-known place with a shady history as well as a celebrated one. The culture there is amazing. To put it straight out, Europe shits on Australia. Sorry, but it does. Especially Germany.

Disadvantages. To go over means leaving everyone and everything I've known my entire life. It's the equivalent of uprooting a tree. And what happens after I graduate? What work do I do? Do I stay overseas or do I come back to Australia and try to make living from music in Australia

At the moment it's playing over and over in the back of my mind. I think I'll just wait until after the HSC. See where my loyalties lie. I'd need some time to prepare before going over if I did; learn some Deutsch, practice some piano, and save some money. Say goodbyes.

This is a really tough decision, probably the hardest I've ever had to make.

We'll see.

vienne, france

trying to do work on holiday is very difficult, i can only really do stuff on the coach trips but i won't have on until next week. i love europe, life is here is so good: beautiful french girls left right and centre, cheap fresh tasty food, lunatic drivers and plenty of sport cars (the first stop in switzerland i saw a ferrari, the next day i saw an aston martin and took a picture with it). there are many more things, i only have 30min internet which won't be enough to say everything i want to say.
at the moment my life consists of 7:30 wake-up, french breakast in the foyer, attend a band practice playing with french guys, find lunch, perform in the evening (still light until 10:30-11:00), then go to the vienne amphitheatre (google it, it is absolutely amazing and as you might now i'm not one to really react to anything) to watch big name artists. two nights ago it was joe cocker, last night it was chucho valdes...i'm having such a good time, except for one thing in the back of my mind....trials

i'm so screwed..must...study...

despite how great the eurotrip is so far i miss everyone back home....i will upload photos shortly (i have to load my photos onto someone elses computer and then move them to mine on a usb)....


i haven't been able to watch the world cup lately, last match i saw was japan-paraguay at singapore airport

Travel Journal

It's 2:30am and I'm watching soccer. I don't want to sleep, I just want to stay awake until departure tomorrow...It hit me at school today that I will be in Europe, the otherside of the world an although the excitement has just hit me the day before leaving, I will miss everyone as cliched as it sounds. And I'm just going for 3 weeks, imagine if I was moving overseas...yeah you might see me get emotional.

My stomach still isn't good from a few months back so I can't really eat and drink to my heart's content as I had planned. I'll just substitute it with lots of study because I'm screwed if I don't. I mean, my hand carry is filled with 2 maths textbooks, a physics text books, notes for sciences, a small flexible A4 whiteboard and markers, and my laptop that will hold everything together.

I'll try and keep you guys posted with whats happening etc.

>_< Happy snappings, my aim is to take over 1000 photos i.e. I must meditate and go into asian tourist mode. I may need to hope that some of Jess' asian-camera-mode rubs off onto me because I didn't take many photos last time mainly because the camera was sh!t. But this time I'm armed with packets of disposable batteries, a canon 12 megapixel camera, and a 4gb SD card and near limitless hard drive space. Do your worst, world.

First stop Kingsford Smith International, then off to Changi airport to transit for a few hours. Let's see how many dotpoints I can cover in that time.

Peace y'all

And by the way, Steph's suggestion of a V-log sounds cool so I will try it if I find internet.

it just hit me that i'll be off to europe, all the memories of the last trip flooded back when i was at band practice last night and i finally got excited :D
the hardest thing to decide to pack at the moment is what subjects i should bring to study for =_=;;

i bought 4 pairs of shorts ($10 each!), 4 t-shirts including an aussie flag one l(2 for $30-meh...)(oz-stray-ya represent!), and a hoodie ($15), all from jay jay's at ridikerus prices because it's summer clothes...i may do do that more often

my earplugs are missing so i will to go to the rouse hill tc buy new ones to block out LOUD NOISES and annoying children on planes

trains are out this weekend so that kinda killed my plans for saturday to go to parra. the towncentre is good, but no-one lives around here that is willing to come. going by myself will be booorrrrriiinngggg

it's so shit drawing up a study itinerary, demotivation to the max

blogging is kinda dying for for me, i don't think it will get any better until november, but hey, that's why it's here-to vent

see you guys for the last time on monday

GO TO MAD!

I think I'm really ill and it ill be like this for at least month...

WITH WORLD CUP FEVER!

And it has the effect of causing severe tiredness, depression, aches and pains, OCD where people re-enact past events over and over (goal celebrations), and ruining HSCs!

Oh well, it's not like I'm trying to get into law or medicine or something. 95+ will do but +92 is all i need.

This is me and my mate procrastination, we were supposed to do an english essay but it kinda died...

that is all for now. i will do a proper blog later

my arse also must have a lot of storage space because i can keep pulling things out of there like maths tests and english essays hopefully.

Tom Sawyer 7/4....*hint* what i was doin today...prize for the winner

Wake up 7:50ish and had toast and tea.
Jumped in the car at 8:15?, started it (after a few attempts because it's cold and not fuel injected) and drive off with the choke half out.
Pushing to get to school ontime-> M7 then Great Western HW which had a 60 zone on a long strech of road for some unknown reason so I was pushing 70.
Get to school and park.
P1 free, did a little maths and then realised that physics was next. Jizzface didn't want to go yet because Mr. Hall is slooow and chances were that we weren't doing that much + maths textbook was already out and i was getting into the groove. Jizzface convinced me that we could go late and that she could do fake tears on cue but as i guessed, she couldn't, so she put water in her eyes as a substitute. Turns out that Hall had his back turned so we managed to sneak into class and then convinced him that Jess was on the otherside of the room before and that he had just missed her. He then got out his CRT's and they were pretty cool, maltese cross and what not.
Recess was...average i think...i can't remember too much except for lending gayJ my physics diagram and juggling a soccerball in a circle with the curries.
P3 was a class maths test that was too long to finish in class and she didn't even collect it so it's now practice questions i guess.
P4- no Walker so the student teacher made sure we were doing stuff...Jizzface started smacking the glockenspiel while i was taking one my few opportunities to play the drum kit...so we did a glockenspiel duet, as well as playing songs out of a charlie brown song book with classics like campdown lady. I ended up turning half of it into rags and jazz shit by instinct.
Pre lunch Jizzface wanted to go to Pendle Hill to buy food because she only had plastic, at first i was reluctant so i went to "the table" in front of rm 41 and whilst eating my pizzabread that mum had cooked up the night before, i fumbled it and it went on the floor.

TURNING POINT

After dropping the food, in the back of my mind i knew that that was the only food i was going to get for a while so i went into a fit of rage, swearing and cursing like sailor and then kicking the wooden railings before defiantly throwing down my aluminium foil ball. "RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO PENDLE HILL"
So off we went to buy food, walking to the car there was a third of a blue tongue lizard that was being eaten by flies...awesome. Anyway, got in the car, got down to Woolies and parked on the bend before the crossing...worst place to park, DO NOT park there without assistance in a stationwagon. Anyway, I said "Fuck this, I'm hungry" and left the car as it was about 60-70cm from the curb.
Inside woolies we saw AJ and Colin (yeah fuck you guys) I didn't know where to start so I let the woman (jess) find it for me because I'm hopeless at buying instant food (I never eat it). She saw a weightwatchers food thing and I asked her why she was buying it *ready for it* because it was on special....Then went to the self checkout and wow i was impressed with the speed that jizzface swiped her card and items and put the pincode in etc. I nearly put the money in the receipt hole without thinking about it.
*Checks time* OH NO 5MIN LEFT
Raced back to school and parked, realising that everyone else leaves at lunch as well, then ran to the music room and heated my easymac. Fuck yeah. Grabbed my bag + jizzface's to recieve it and then had to get some sporks from the canteen and lie and say i bought it from home....run to english

P5 realised that my lunchbox was missing (thanks Yash, at least i assume it was him) because i was thirsty for my juice. Bladerunner etc etc

P6 Chemistry boring, found my lunchbox though...library (thanks sarah) and then when the bell rang i bolted to my vehicle and left for home...

Got home rush*ing and then found my guitar player friend there waiting with his shit. I had a gig to get to by 4:30 setup in Fairfield at the museum. Got everything in the car and realised that Dad had taken my gig shoes, my shirt wasn't actually black like it was supposed to have been, and my jacket wasnt' a dinner jacket like it was supposed to. Everything just fit in the car....on the road and his amp was rocking around so we pulled over and padded it up.

Got to the museum....sooooo busy on the roads. Did the gig 5:30-7:30, it was in near complete darkness and i couldn't see my charts... i had to play with my phone as a torch with my left hand and my right hand comping chords...so gaym shittest gig ever. Finished the gig and rushed back to rouse hill, put a bass drum in my car (difficult) was supposed to have bought food but there was no food.

Went to band practice in the hall at Nelson...8:15 until 10:40? idk, but it was 2 practices. Set up and load up again...for the third time...got home (now i know i can bring myself to speed up to 5-10km over the limit in 80+ zones. Got home...unpacked...eating right now at 12:35, almost exactly 11hr after my last meal ,and blogging.....

T_T Gig tomorrow at Dural country club; will probably take up the entire day.

How will i study for maths...oh well.

Wow that was quite summarised. I omitted some details and events today, if you think i missed something then please comment and tell me. Btw if you solve the riddle in the title...you're awesome.

Sorry if there are grammatical errors but i just wanted to churn out this shit asap.


PEACE OUT NIGGZZ

Sorry I was late

Yeah I kinda haven't blogged for a little while...like a month.

What's been happening lately that I can think of at my desk on Mother's day based on the experiences I've had in the last 24 hours and how my mind associates them with other memories thus leading to a publication of those certain events, ideas, and emotions?

I bought a Terry Lee textbook for 3u maths because I need to learn stuff I didn't do last year (that probably didn't deserve a mention). Going off on a tangent, maybe I should have done a little more maths last year and did my homework for other subjects and killed extra-curricular stuff...oh well, I won't make that mistake next time.
Found out that night driving with a mate is really quite fun, especially when you listen to his directions but then you make a wrong turn and get lost and it somehow turns out to faster and easier than the original plan (not at all directed at you Tim =_=).
Also I have no idea where these rumours about me going out with Amara came from, I was at Kurt's party yesterday and AJ and his girlfriend and Colin all at the same time asked me out of nowhere, and before that Jess asked me a few days before in music when we went to find John on the top oval and we discovered natures awesome grass mute.
I start teaching children piano soon...and for all you people thinking "But he's a cantonese pedo!" I bet you none of the children will be cantonese, it's too far west (Rouse Hill). The pay is ok $30 (half the real deal, comission), shit for music teachers but much better than McSlaves. I hope oneday soon I get to have my trio. That's where I can make good money and have fun (+$100min. a gig, and if i had a regular gig... :)
I better do some work now...yeah...enjoy the maths test people.

Goodbye my friends...

I'm off to the library for most of next week to dive into the books so I don't know how much blogging I'll get done...And apologies for being late again.

What have I done so far?

Installed car radio and it is pimpin', I love driving even more. Now I have this image of me driving to schoolies with the music pumping and friends in the car. I'm waiting on some 6"X9" speakers to be delivered which will be installed in the back. Can't wait for the look on the guy's face at the light when I crank some jazz. :o

Looking for a particular style of music that doesn't fit an exact genre, it's a kinda like jazz/funk/hip-hop/soul sound I discovered by accident on a French piano player's usb. There's only a few bands that sound similar, but google will find them all eventually.

Have had a great week on day's out
-Sunday pancakes, despite being dragged around for no apparent reason, was good fun, especially getting to know people closer. I went to the APPLE store for the first time, it's quite a cool place, really clean slick aluminium finishes and lots of glass.

-Thursday Korean BBQ was fantastic good fun even if it didn't go for that long, despite being beat up the most I have ever been beat up, I had a good time and full stomach. I couldn't sleep until 3-4am cause my stomach was making it's funny noises and I was still quite full.

-Saturday, Dani's party was terrific, even if I missed the soccer. John phoning and standing outside was hilarious, watching kids cartoons trippy, and then the cake and two movies after that was awesome. Hope you had a good time Dani 'cause every one else did.


I haven't gone into these days in detail because each would require a separate blog. These days I will remember for a long time because they are one of the few great days we will have this year leading up to the HSC. Strangely enough the thing that we think is separating us is binding us. We wouldn't know each other if it wasn't for school, and the level of fun just becomes so much more this year because it's probably the most fun we'll get until November. But what about post November? Sure there's schoolies and other functions where everyone will be in the one place but eventually we're all going to drift, we'll all go our own way, and things will be different.
Cherish these moments.

Title of somesort

I didn't blog yesterday for the first time...sorry.
Talking on msn to 3-4am for the past 2 days.
Going out for pancakes tomorrow.
Korean BBQ planned for Thursday, planned it with Amara.
Bought a car radio today (that can play CD's) and got eaten by mozzies whilst installing cables and pulling the car apart.
Forgot to take my tablet at 5pm and remembered at 6:45pm.
Now going to eat dinner then shower at approx 7pm.
Finish shower and watch F1 qualifying with Dad then play pokemon and piano.



I cbf. Bye.

dT_Tb Late nights with a grumpy old man

My fcuking spine........................
Everyone is having a bad time.
My back is so painful
And yet it's late and I still have a bit to cover.
I want to eat some Mi Goreng but I don't think I can stomach it
Because I need more Buscopan, 20 tablets lasts only 2.5 days.
Holidays are tangible
But exams are reality.
If I don't do well it's because
I should have done work in year 11 last year in maths.
But no-one told me
And now I suffer.
That will just make me work harder
Because there will be another shot, another opportunity.
If that doesn't work

it's not the end of the world



Trying to motivate others and myself for those that have lost hope. Anyone who wants to come get a back massage with me is welcome to join me.
That's all, I'm brain dead at the moment and am going to shower at 0:59:24 Sat/Sun.
Goodnight?

gA$TR0

Here I am at home with stomach issues and the explosive results. I haven't been able to eat much (if anything, but esp. not dairy) as I can't stomach it. It's been pretty boring, I can't really concentrate so I'm just resting at the moment; I'll just try again tomorrow.

So what happened leading up to the colic that I'm experiencing is that, after sitting chem+music I got home and was tired, had a nap and then ate dinner. After eating dinner I started getting a dull pain in my abdomen which progressed to not being able to lean forwards or backwards. I took some antacids but it had little/no effect. The pains decided to become intolerable, but in cycles, that is, it would come, give me a break, and come again worse.

Some of the worst pain I've ever felt. And I went through child birth.

Eventually the worst of it subsided after a few hours (don't read ahead if you have a vivid imagination) but not before it culminated in multiple brown tsunamis *yuck*

Annnnnyyyyyywaaaayyy, *cue bridging cough* I'm now going to analyse reasons for why/how this occurred, not for your benefits, but for mine seeing that I have little to talk about. I think (and as some of you may have noticed) I seem to get sick leading up to and during exam periods. Now to those of who like to talk about that link a lot (kind of ironic that some of you are aspiring to enter the medical profession), there is a direct correlation between stress and illness: I get stressed come exam time -> stress manifests in health. There is your answer.

Moving on, I don't really want to talk about school because I want to look towards the future. Like partying with friends and what I actually want to do at uni. I spent much of today (tuesday) looking at job websites to see how much demand there is in engineering and I found that there is a lot of demand for geotechnical engineers (specialised civil), that electrical engineers are paid shit loads (150k+ min.), that there are a few defence contractors (top secret), and that I still don't have a clear idea of what the fcuk I'm doing. I like the thought of working on big projects and being on site and I also like the thought of financial security.

Oh shiz mum is out of the shower i'ma gtfo cause it's late bb

It hath arrived!

Half yearlies have kicked-off and the only thing I can think about is getting this blog out of the way and how I'm not going to band practices tonight to study and take a break. yay.

Physics today was much easier than expected, I thought I would get hung, drawn, and quartered today, however the science department did most of the work. Undoubtedly they will mark like bastards but oh well, who cares! One down! Don't dwindle on the past, look to the future!

Didn't have to walk to the station, Tabish and I got a lift with Jess's mum (kudos to her), allowing us to catch an uncatchable train and buy ice cream. Hell Yeah.
Got home, checked the soccer, and Liverpool won convincingly. Uh huh.
Ate lunch and then napped until I was fully awake. Boo Ya.
And here I am blogging. So today was quite alright.

It's only 4:23 right now so I will rap it up and study now. Goodbye everyone. Remember that for non-sciences you have 2 more chances at redemption before the HSC and 1 if you do a science.

Buy Bye Bi Bigh

Much to do, very little time

Only a short blog, too tired.

Today (Friday) at X-country, myself, Tabish, Obil, Kurt, Ruben, and Chippy initiated operation connair 2. Our goal was to cheat in the cross country and potentially snare top 15 places if it was successful. Our first lap was a survey of the surroundings, a reconnaissance mission. We observed which teachers were on duty, the positioning of the teachers, what colour markers were used for marking laps, and any potential ways to take shortcuts.

To prepare for this operation we required multiple colours of markers and thorough background knowledge of the people we would encounter and the course. I just brought my pencil case (and thanks Sarah for lending the blue marker, it wouldn't have been a success without it. We positioned ourselves using the sound of the main road, and tried switching signs around only to end up going the wrong way ourselves, a victim of our own plan.
We did eventually make it to the end of the first lap after walking around and it was crunch time. We double checked the pen strokes on peoples hands as they went by, double checking our collected info was accurate. On a quiet isolated stretch the golden moment came. We got out the highlighters and I started colouring my hand. It was not exactly the same, but it was pretty good. I was worried about the repercussions of getting caught. As the others were trying to colour in their hands, disaster struck. Their darker skin and sweaty hands were not transferring any ink, and as such, I was the sole carrier of the cause. I parted ways with them and ran the last 200-300m, receiving cheers from year 12 onlookers. I saw the finish line up ahead and kept a calm face, making sure to exaggerate my exhaustion. I then came to the make or break moment. Mr. Stormont was there.
"Can I see your hand?"
*Looks at hand*
"Go to that table there"

$Kaching$

Continuing the act, I went to the table and had no number, but it didn't matter, I just played along. Remember the target was 15.
I came 15th. Hells yeah. My part of the operation went along smoothly. I walked one lap whilst everyone else had to run three.

For those of you who frown upon this, no-one was forced out of zone or anything, it was merely an experiment of our wits, applying our knowledge to achieve this heist like glory. And it's the last carnival as well so we had as much fun as we could. Also the turnout was extremely poor from our grade. Boooooooooooooo *thumbs down*

On to other things
Mountain of work + Exams=Death
Enough said.

And I wish that people would stop asking for ridiculous lifts that are out of my way, I just say no but they just keep asking.

Need some source of energy that will make me run all day, just for the sake of school. Not that I care that much...Still don't know why I should bother putting in this effort for nothing. But I still do. Oh well...

Night y'all.

pH=7 i.e. neutral

If you look to the right of your screen there is a list of subscribers. I had no idea that that was not a complete list of readers.

Example: Thursday, period 5, library.
I'd never really talked to Mary before this so whilst we talking of what direction we would go in after high school she suggested that I teach music. We talked about it before I paused and asked "Wait, how do you know I play an instrument?". She said that she reads my blog, which leads me to this plea....
If you don't/can't/haven't commented before, please come up and tell me that you've read my blog, and I'm sure that goes for everyone else who blogs as well.

Next item on the agenda- Decrease in the number of blogs by people. C'mon people, if we start slowing down it may die out = bad :(
I'm sure you all have some time to blog somewhere in all those hours of procrastination-free study. If not then you have no life and should consider removing yourself from the gene pool.

The past week has been fairly uneventful, the only things of note worth mentioning are that the Thornikater has left the building, I "found" and lost a supermagnet that I was playing with all day today (friday), and Yash put a watermelon rind in my bag.
I will get him back so good...

Things I can look forwards to: plenty of maths homework, try to intensely practice HSC music pieces, hack away at core homework, and see WAYNE SHORTER QUARTET LIVE AT THE OPERA HOUSE.

Now, for those of you who don't know Wayne Shorter, he is a saxamaphone player with a catch. He is a living legend in Jazz. Surely you have all heard of Miles Davis? He was a part of his legendary quintet, five huge names in their own right, and one of them, this guy (he's black so he must be good), is coming here for the first time in ten years. These guys made the genre what it is today, and they individually continue to push the boundaries of music. I cannot wait.
So for any of you sax players, youtube his name or wiki him.

So basically, so basically, so basically (see, I'm copying tim) I will be extremely tired come Monday as the concert starts 8:00 on Sunday night.

Moving on..

I noticed that when there is a prayer group meeting at school during lunchtime I'm desperately alone, as in I actually have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to as I find it all boring. So I may as well go to the library or something. Do something productive.

N.B. Don't try and convert me because you read the above

My sleep patterns are getting weirder. On Thursday night I was going to bed at 11:30pm before my Mum stole the bathroom for an hour so I couldn't brush my teeth. I subsequently decided to muck around on my piano and ended up finishing at 2:30am... It happens every so often and I can't stop until I physically can't continue.
Sometime this week I was napping and set the alarm clock to wake me up in an hour at 5:30pm. I ended up waking up at 8:30pm not because the alarm was faulty, because it did go off. Apparently when it went off, my mum and brother saw me get up and turn it off and then walk back to bed. I have no recollection of doing this and it is kind of scary. It happened before a long time ago when I fell asleep on the couch and my mum directed me to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then sent me to bed, and I don't remember doing any of those things either because my first thought when I awoke was
"How the hell did I end up here?"

Anyway I'm going to go to bed or some shit, I don't know. It's currently 12:06am and I got home earlier today at 11:05pm. Maybe I'll play some piano or eat some easter eggs, but I think first I'll have a shower.

BTW-youtube "amber lamps" and watch the entire thing.

See y'all later bitches!

P.S. John is a whore for stealing my magnet (I just found out)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

I was buggered at school today, and was expecting it to be a tough day because of the homework I had to do the night before that was due the next day. Everything turned out alright as the physics topic test we had was much easier than expected (i didn't bother studying as a sign of respect towards killen) and all the maths and english homework that was supposed to be completed wasn't checked (I'd done half of it but was too tired...).

On the fun side of school lunch was funny in an annoying away as I was the target of many projectiles from Tabish and Yash (and some from Kurt) including sticks, gum nuts, and bigger sticks. I then found my bag in a bin courtesy of Yash (thankyou Yash). I was subsequently choked by the violent Jess and afterwards in my free period, had things (coiled guitar straps) thrown at my nether-regions and my arm attacked with ink. During music third period I stole John's beloved Taeyang keyring and was put in a headlock when my hands weren't free. I think I deserved what I got for the last one, but overall a very fun day and I'm not being sarcastic either, I know it's all good natured, and I had a laugh as well.

But now to serious matters.

Soccer training at lunchtime on Thursday. I chased a loose ball which I thought I could make, and Dani chased the same ball coming from the opposite direction. In the desperation to get that ball I slid at the last moment as Dani went for the ball as well. It was a very 50/50 challenge although the odds were in my favour to cause an injury rather than recieve one, and cause one I did. I remember getting to the ball, but my continuing motion meant that I went into Dani's legs and I caught him. Oh noes!
Now Dani has done what physiotherapists like to call a "Tabish" and is now injured indefinitely (I'm just trying to make it seem worse). I felt so bad I drove him home (and it still won't ever be enough). If there was anyway I could untackle him or do an injury substitution to myself or Tabish's good knee, then I would.

So to Dani, RICE it and get better because if you don't, I will be haunted forever.

Anyway, I started blogging this one at about 11:45pm and now it's 12:01 and I'm trying to think of things to say. Seeing this is a weekly blog, I should probably talk about the week, but instead, I will fast forward to post HSC.

SCHOOLIES.

It seems that the town for Girraweeners to descend on is Port Macquarie so everyone start planning and booking right away. There are plenty of beach houses available at the moment. But I seriously can't wait... It should be good.

AND BY THE WAY- If you live in Fairfield and can be bothered to go down to the museum tomorrow at 1pm then you can catch my bigband playing until 4pm. But I expect no-one I know to turn up anyway so I'm a go shower now at 12:15am after browsing some accomodation for November.

And don't forget to comment, say anything, I don't care, it doesn't even have to be relevant to the blog! I know how much you people value comments on your blogs so I try to on everyone's blog that I have subscribed to.

ZZzzzzzzz....

I promised steph that I would blog today in English, nothing interesting has really happened, and I'm totally unprepared. So it will be short and to the point if i can make one.

Ok, after sitting for 1 minute thinking, something that ticked me off greatly on Tuesday has suddenly sprung to mind. In the library on tuesday morning, I went with Amit to teach him how to do some questions in the past papers. Now the library, as you may know, is associated with the words 'quiet' and 'study', preferably both are used together. As I was trying to teach him, the noise level suddenly went up so I looked below for the nearest talking child/infant to berate. He was down below in the bookshelves next to the magazines and I think I said
"HEY! Could you please be quiet, we're in a library, thanks!" and I thought that would be the end of it.
The little fucker talked back.
"YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SHUT UP I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!"
I then opened up and said something along the lines of
"Look mate, you're 3 feet tall and 3 years old alright so either shut up or get out. This is a library!"
He talked as I was saying it but then stopped halfway. If he had said another word I would of went down there and smacked the attitude out of the little shit. I was very, very close.
I remember back in year 7 we never talked back to our seniors we respected them because they were older, that was the golden rule, and it should still be :
Respect your elders.

But I swear if another little bastard wants to talk back, it will be with my fist in his face. I think we need to do something as a grade about the noise levels in the library, half of them go there to play video games or talk anyway. Perhaps a talk to the year adviser or deputy will fix it.

There you go steph, a blog, and it only took 15 minutes, which is a quarter of an hour which is 1⁄68 of my waking day.

N.B.We need year 12 pranks and to bring back nuggeting.

"Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"-Truman Show

friday on my mind (the easybeats)

It seems that most of my blogs from now will be on Fridays after I get home, my chill time starts at 11pm so if anyone wishes to talk online up late on a Friday... you get the idea.

Thursday was the most I've exercised in about 7 months, and I could feel all the crap in my system just get exercised and sweated out. It felt good and reminded me of how much I miss the game, the beautiful game, Football (soccer). I'm certain I pushed myself close to my limit because if Dani can recall, I was on the ground unable to breathe and in desperate need of water. Anyhow, the day after (today, which is Friday) I knew that I would pull up sore but amazingly it was much less than I expected, just the hamstrings chest, pectoral, and groin muscles (trust me when I say it could be worse).

The distinguished achievers assembly. Kamal. That guy is a god. It made me reflect on the kinds of things I should be doing, and to know that he can have tough times is reassuring. The sheer number of high achievers this year gives me hope, even though I have no idea what I'm aiming for. I've contemplated just working for a year and continuing the piano, maybe focusing on it seeing that I have no certificates or anything. There's no point wasting time and money on random courses at uni until I find something I want to do. But hopefully that time will come when I get that spark that provides a tertiary educational epiphany.

"Tired? Stressed? You'll feel better on Swisse!"
If this stuff actually works, I wouldn't mind trying some.

Missing those two days of school last week is still killing me, I need some solid energy to get me though this but soldier on I will, no point complaining about it.
The holidays for me will come as a window of opportunity to get ahead and work harder, ironic it is as a whole as the holidays are not so.

I need to seriously address my sleeping patterns, I go to bed late every night without fail and have a nap when I get home most days. I just don't have the energy at school. Whatever happened to those days when there was too much energy and you could keep going like a perpetual motion machine?

Band practice was good today, we had no frontline instruments (horns) in one of the band practices so we jammed for 2 hours on wack time signatures and simple chord progressions with keys, guitar, electric bass, and drums. Lots of fun.

Exams are around the corner so
heads up everyone, it's the calm before the storm.

QUICK!!!! TYPE FASTER!!!

Alright I got 10 minutes to blog because i want some shut eye after a long day/night.
Pretty much today I'm feeling much better (I've been sick of late) although if you asked me to run some laps I'm pretty sure I'd fail.
Today I had an after school mission to get some passport photos taken so I went to Parramatta Westfield and had no idea where I was going (I went on a wild goosechase up 4 levels). Thankfully my friend Amara (who I don't see enough of) knew exactly where to go and I had them done and we parted ways after a quick catchup. I then caught the train home and tried to avoid eye contact with these massive fobs sitting opposite me so I messed around with my iPod (which I hate to death) for a few minutes. I then found out that my train terminated a stop before where I needed to get off so I just walked to Tim's house and just waited to be picked up. That's my day. School was average.

I now have 3 minutes left so I'm gonna preach the word of--------JAZZ

I know plenty of people that will groan and instantly tune out at the mention of the word but I need to vent some words (I think I will take longer than 3 minutes) at those people. It's ignorance. The very rock music that most people listen too have their roots in jazz, it didn't just come from nowhere. Many people think it's just elevator music without listening to it. To appreciate JAZZ you need to understand it, which many people fail to do and so will turn a blind eye. I highly doubt any of them have actually sat down and listened to a song. To understand the complexity of the genre, the calibre of the musicians (I see all these people worshipping these rock stars, the jazz muso's would absolutely destroy them head to head and the rockers know that) I'M GOING OVER TIME NOW BUT I WILL CONTINUE

Understanding the form of the music and appreciating the difficulty of it. It's something you must open your ears to. I'm just sick of these people that listen to their asian pop music and say "I hate jazz!"- the fact that they've never listened to it and will say that makes me angry and at the same time, sad that they have never listened and probably never will listen to jazz. I respect other people's taste of music, however bad it may be, but to bring down an artform without ever truly appreciating it is a crime.

Anyway, I went 9-10 minutes over (from the last thing typed). If you're interested in trying jazz (at first I was apprehensive, but here I am...) I'd be happy to tailor something to your taste and unravel the mysteries of this art for you. The more the merrier! Unless it's something like genocide, in which case this is probably not a good idea.

Guy

Btw Dani my mind is like an AC motor, I'll explain if you ask.

Night people, I'm turning in before 11:30 tonight, nice and early.

Doesn't it just keep getting better?

Weeeelllllllll, my decline can only go so far (touchwood), and I think the past week has just driven another nail into my coffin. Missing 2 days of school is a lot of work to catchup on at any time, but I have a rushing maths class that is behind, wait, I'm not gonna bother listing it all because I'm pretty sure you guys (Dani, because I think he's the only one that reads this, if there are others I encourage you to comment otherwise it seems a bit pointless and I feel like I'm talking to no-one).

So schools in a bit of a mess.

I don't know how many people know of my music commitments, but they take up a substantial amount of my time and effort. Just some background information, I play in 3 jazz/funk bands. Two ensembles with rhythm section and frontline, one specializing in funk, the other occasionally does new orlean style street marches. The third band is a 15+ person big band. Luckily the rehearsals for these bands are all on one day, Friday, and I get home around 11:00pm. I must bring my own digital keyboard, stand, seat etc etc.
I have charts for all these bands and they all play at least 10-15 songs, the big band 30+, each with new pieces introduced all the time, and I need to get all of these pieces ready for the occasional gig. I also need to know all these pieces perfectly to play in Europe as I'm off again in July to play at the Montreux Jazz Festival and the Vienne Jazz Festival (I advise you do a google of these places because these are some are the biggest and most prestigious musical events I've ever seen). This means I miss the holidays before the trials and a large window to study.
I also need my HSC pieces ready, so as you can see I have a lot of work ahead of me.

That's why when I get sick I get stressed because I know somewhere in there I must fit 1hr+ piano practice daily (ideally 2), regular school homework and assignments etc. And then catchup all the work I missed!!! And it's even better when you must hunt down what you missed out on because the teacher is to lazy to just mark the roll and keep some notation of the work covered in class, and always expect the student to find everything and know everything going on despite their absence. And if I want to do well, I must write notes and start studying much in advance. Oh don't I feel great talking about it?!

Well, currently I have a throat infection and am taking meds to keep me kicking, but I'll keep coming to school regardless because I would rather feel like shit everyday than fall behind.

And I wish I had some, any, idea of what to do when I leave school so I have a goal (as I've probably told half of you before), because at the moment I feel like a jellyfish just floating around not knowing what the fuck I'm supposed to do.

Have a great Valentine's day people, if you're certain you like someone, go tell them, because I'd certainly like to know if someone liked me! *HINT* (I'm not 100% sure about my feelings yet Dani boy, I also realise I've used different banned F words, see if you can find them)

Slowly disintegrating with love, Guy

Ennui + ♥ = e92t7y9!??!??!?!?!!

I've found my niche, and it's kind of ironic.
In this loner state I've found myself in, keeping myself occupied with school work is amazingly working?!
I still hate school substantially because of how uneventful it is, but I feel slightly more enthused after finding my potential cure.

Valentine's day is coming up soon, and people are pressing me to send a rose. Yes, (ripley's) believe it or not, I have people in mind, although I think only Dani knows who the person/persons are. My mind is a little confused at the moment because I haven't really liked anyone in a long time. I'm sure we all remember year 7. Anyway, maybe in this rare instance Amit is right: "You need a girlfriend".

Back unto the daily grind.

↓wards

The holidays have done more harm than good I think, as my motivation at school and ability to enjoy it are all going down hill. I think the best way to put it is with my gaming analogy I used today when talking with Dani & Co.-"it's kind of like spectator mode"

I don't even play video games anymore, they're not as fun as they used to be and there's always something useful I could be doing.

I need someone to come and shake up my day because I'm finding it difficult at the moment on a day-to-day basis. Remembering it's only week 2 doesn't exactly help a great deal either. This is going to be a llllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggg year.

I have to do homework now so to sum up, I have no drive at the moment, no idea why I'm doing the HSC, and I need to stop procrastinating by feeling the need to blog.

See ya.

I CBB SRY

It's Friday night and I don't get home until 11pm, so I can't be bothered, sorry to those who were anticipating a lengthy blog.

This blog isn't supposed to be depressing as Amit informed me. I'll tell you when I have a good day, and I'll tell you when I have a bad day. Maybe I should set the tone with a smiley every time :)

It took only 3.5 hours for me to get that feeling of constant never-ending boredom again. I thought that maybe I would be excited to see everyone, and initially I was, but the novelty wore off after 5 minutes. I was also amazed at how quickly it took to get back into the routine. The first day back I felt my heart sink, because in the back of my mind was the HSC. I've had a tense feeling in my chest the past few days non-stop, and it doesn't go away. Stress, people. I'm a little worried about it at the moment, it's making me an angry person at school and at home. Perhaps some valium?

Well, as some/a few/most/all of you know, I got my P plates. I'm telling you all now, don't go to the CASTLE HILL RTA. As I found out 2 days before the test, it has gained notoriety for being an extremely difficult place to earn your licence, although I'm glad I went there as I now have much faith in my driving abilities (relative). The 120hr logbook is, although laborious, absolutely necessary. When compare my driving to the 50hr mark (the previous number of hours required) and where I am now, it's not surprising to see why there was such high number of P plate accidents. And if you're thinking of fibbing any hours, shame on you, but even more, shame on your parents for signing it.

Tonight I drove solo for the first time. At first I was a little apprehensive, but settled straight into it once it clicked what I was doing. It has given me a new lease on freedom (not the judicial one), I can now go anywhere I want. Anywhere, any time (exaggeration, please don't take seriously). It's a great feeling. I advise you all to do the same. Break free from the shackles of poorly run state government public transport!

Well that's all I want to say at the moment, overall it's been a mixed bag so far combining elation and constant chest pain. I'll leave it at neutral, or should I say, in neutral (I'm sorry, I had to).

Also, I will give people a lift if possible on days that I drive to school.

Bore-dumb

3 CENTS
"Man, he is constantly growing and when he is bound by a set pattern of ideas or way of doing things, that's when he stops growing."-Bruce Lee

Apply it to anything you want, I liked when I read it. I don't really have much to say today, when you're at home doing the same things each day there isn't much to inspire you. But I'm sure that when school starts up there will be plenty to say.

I miss seeing friends. The same routine everyday, waking up at the same time each day. Eating the same things at the same time each day. Looking at the same websites each day. Attempting to do schoolwork each day. Bored out of mind each day.

I've come to a realisation, you see, school will be no different (minus the friends bit), and is a reminder of what is to come. Just some food for thought. I know what the forthcoming year will be like, and I'm not looking forward to it. I've not too much to say.

DAY
Nothing much is happening, just same old same old. I'm trying to go to bed earlier but I keep on failing to, now I've called my mother in to intervene. She says that she will "kick my butt". Perhaps 3-4am is too late? I'm starting to tire of waking up when the sun starts dropping; yesterday I woke up at 4:30pm.
I keep thinking about school and my music, what I should be doing and the obstacles I will face, it's always in the back of my mind, although I should give my mother some 'credit' in that department, she reminds me everyday of her expectations for my HSC.

KLOSE
Ever wondered what it's like to live in a eurasian family or being half? My parents come from vastly different backgrounds, practically opposite sides of the world, so you can expect that they have differing values, customs, and expectations. There is inevitably conflict. For example, my father will sometimes wear shoes into the house if it's just for 5 minutes (it's a white person thing), but my mother will force him to take his shoes off. It may seem like a minor thing that occurs elsewhere, but believe me, it's a cultural thing in this instance.
There are many times where I feel alienated. I remember at Schofields Public School there were times where some caucasians wouldn't accept me. I wasn't 'white' enough.
Even now, days at school can be tough when my close friends aren't around. I'm not trying to be racist, but I can't and will never be indian or chinese. I've had "But you're not asian". I just don't fit in, I don't want to either. So that leaves me with little place to go. And I don't feel white, I don't really want to be there too. Now I have a dilemma, but I couldn't care less.
Why?
Because I know I've found great friends that only care if you're a good person. I am so grateful for having found such good friends, and I mean that with every part of my mind, body, and soul. So now I'm going to be highly brash. Fuck cliques. Fuck racial groups. I'm sorry for being so upfront about how I express my sentiments. That's one aspect of our school that I truly hate. And I know that's because of my past experiences, I understand, and I choose to bypass logic. So now I'm going to unleash some Module C. The pathos is powerful.

Well, now you know some more. I choose not to visually display these emotions, this blogging experience has given me a better outlet; words are better.

I don't think I'll post again until I have another outing with some friends to stir the blood.

Blogging virginity gone with the wind.

3 CENTS

I am growing more and more concerned about certain people as the time to return to school approaches. It's crunch time, our final year, and the cracks in people are beginning to show. Yes, it's the HSC and it's very important, but where does one draw the line? What is the price of friendship?
I understand that some people are focused on a goal already knowing exactly what they want to do, but weighing up between a fantastic mark and the experiences and bonds that one will carry through the rest of their lives (mastercard advertisements)?
Birth. Life. Death. These three things we will all experience, of that there is no doubt, yet how we choose to live is open.

But shouldn't we experience life to it's fullest, spending our best days with friends?
I know that without seeing my mates, my mind slowly decays. So how is it that people can sever ties in an instant? People I were once close to have been, and are, becoming increasingly distant. And if it continues, I cannot continue to be close with them. Friendships are mutual, and if they cannot understand that, then there is no hope for them. So that's my 3 cents, shape up or ship out.

DAY

So now, moving on. Today (9th Jan 2010), I experienced the greatest visual piece of wizardry that exists. AVATAR. Technology just continues to improve in leaps and bounds, but the experience from AVATAR was just mind-blowing. I cannot wait to see the boundaries of CGI and the physical world indistinguishable, although this film comes mighty close.
However earlier in the day I had a surprise. AMARA! A friend who I had not seen in 2 years. Funnily enough whilst departing the last time we met 2 years ago, my last words were "See you in a year.". After having such a long outing drought during these holidays and then her showing up out of the blue (it wasn't really out of the blue for everyone else, they knew she was coming), it was great to just find that we could connect as if we had been seeing each other for the past month. I also remembered how violent Thai women could be. First-hand.

I must thank Dani, the past few weeks have been testing to say the least (keeping oneself occupied is difficult, I now truly admire the average hermit). He is a sincere friend and only has good intentions to aid people. I'm determined to make sure this friendship will never end, even though I will outlive him.

KLOSING

I tend to suppress emotions, to the point that even many close friends don't know my true thoughts and feelings about things. The reason that I may appear 'cold' is to hide emotions; being constant sources of jokes, bullying, and other experiences have taught me to throw away emotional baggage; problems arise when you become too emotional, hence why you should "Always look on the bright side of life". Find the funny side of things. So that's it for my first blog, I'm tired after a long day in which i've had a chance to reflect. Maybe next time (i'll see how the blog goes) i'll reveal some things you didn't know about me, some insight for you and me, into myself. Remember, none of you know me yet.